Missing "Normal"

A couple of my former college professors have recently reached out. It’s humbling. My goal in undergrad was to be the least memorable student; these professors have become very memorable and successful in their fields.

I lamented to one that I miss normal.

I didn’t go into detail with her. But I miss so much of what was mundane normal—from making catcalls out the window at Nicole as she did her post-run stretches to the smell of her hair when I came home from the office.

The door isn’t closed on experiencing those again. I’ll enjoy them even more.

But it’s made me wonder how much of this new normal we’ll one day see as precious.

Last night, we took one of our routine walks. The walks are a little slower as Nicole recovers from chemo…yet there’s something to a slow walk. A savoring of the changing leaves with the setting sun, the calmer pace of conversation, and the relaxing nature of it all.

This new normal has provided the pleasure of fulfilling the “in sickness” part of our vows.

As much as I miss normal, this new normal has revealed the incredible faith and strength of one of God’s greatest gifts to me—a girl who refuses to let this hell take the most beautiful parts of her.

Ecclesiastes 5:20 says, “For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.”

We’ve certainly had some dark, low moments. Moments that threaten to resurface. But I’m thankful that God keeps me occupied with joy. A joy of salvation and hope. And also a joy of a girl who adventures into this new normal with her head held high.

Right now is a month of waiting.

Six rounds of chemo are behind us. Altogether, we’ve spent nearly two of the last six months in the hospital. So this month (my favorite month), we’ve decided to catch up on the fun we’ve missed out on this summer. We’ve been outside as much as possible, and we’re planning little adventures.

Next week, we’ll meet with Nicole’s team to discuss next steps. Until then, we plan to find blessing in this new normal and trust God to continue to keep us occupied with joy.

Much of that joy has come from blessings from the people He’s put in our lives. Thank you!